Lol, quality card Ryan! U shlaaaaag! It's the thought that counts tho isn't it, which is very lucky for you my son! I see all those late nite CS session have paid off tho with your 1337 mouse writing skills lol. Hehe I jest, I luvs ya really!
Rite. Friday nite. The Birthday. It wasn’t exactly the most eventful of nites but as long as there’s alcohol involved, I really don’t give a shit! Where shall we start… We’ll continue from where we left off shall we? Ok dinner, as I predicted, was absolutely de-fucking-licious! The meatballs… omg, they were like a mini orgasm on the tongue! I mean, oh my good god! Who knew the boy had it in him! I mean I know he can cook but fuck me! And then came the banoffee… oh my! Oh my, oh me, oh my! Ok, gimmie a minute to compose myself… Mmmmmmmm…
Rite, first port of call of the nite twas Drouthy’s for a pint of Germany’s best! And by that I mean the tastiness that is Erdinger. Mmm it’s gooood! And it comes in a pretty glass. You know it’s good when it comes in a pretty glass! Drouthy’s was kinda the place to go to ease into the nite and wake up since we were all zombified after that delicioso meal. And its pretty good for ppl watching or in Friday nite’s case the “Oh shit! Look who’s sitting over there… Aw fuck!” But hey, that’s the beauty of living in a small town! Onward and upward we went. We could have gone to another pub but by that stage I was like, “Fuck it, lets just go to the Union and get fucked!” Plus there is more ppl at the union which equals free drinks lol! I’m not shallow at all! Shhh, It’s my birthday damnit!
So, as soon as I’m thru the doors I’m handed a double and a single vodka and orange along with kisses, hugs and happy bdays woo! So I’m happy! Kisses, hugs and alcohol should always go hand in hand! And speaking of, most random thing ever happened when we sat down. There’s this reeaally good looking girl that Andy (Yorkshire) knows who came over to talk to him (fair enough, it was basically the first time we’ve seen ppl since we got back) but then she randomly walks over to me, is like “Hey, how ya doin?” and plants two kisses on my cheeks! WTF?!! I’ve never had a conversation with this girl and she comes and kisses me! Like I mean, we’ve never even exchanged pleasantries before! I was soo unbelievably gob smacked all I could do was turn round to Andy (Irish) with my mouth wide open and a huge smile on my face! Haha the look on his face was priceless as well coz he is totally obsessed with this girl lol we used to joint stalk her on facebook over msn!
As you could probably tell, this required a drink to get over the shock, so off to the bar it was! And I was thinking to myself, “This drink isn’t having any effect on me at all, it’s time to bring in reinforcements!” So I give Andy ‘the look’ and as a see a huge smile spread across his face, I know its time… Chartreuse time baby! Now if you’ve never drunk Chartreuse (which I’m sure you haven’t coz it smells and tastes like shite *Warning – Do not sniff if you value your sense of smell* ) this isn’t a social drink. This is possibly the most disgusting shot known to man, only consumed to get completely fucked off your face! Depending on your food and drink consumption, you can quite easily get drunk on one shot along with your normal nites drinks. So down that went, and burned the whole way down mmmm! Word to the wise, never inhale before or directly after drinking Chartreuse or u will lose a lung! Exhaling is your best bet. It may still burn, but at least it’s not your vital organs.
Newho, back to the table I go with my double fisters. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about spirits that I have to buy them in twos… maybe I have mild OCD I don’t know… hmm… So the social little butterfly I am, ppl somehow gravitate towards me and I have a nice wee chat with ppl I haven’t seen in quite a while (most of which are pretty drunk which suits me fine!) and in between convincing ppl to give me code for my practicals, I get all the craic from Owen (who is camper than a row of tents). So my glasses empty and it’s back and forth to the bar to fill them again, and by the 2nd or 3rd trip to the bar with my fellow countryman and partner in crime Irish, I’m still sober and its starting to piss me off! So by the time I get served I’m like “Fuck it, I’m getting another!” and down plops a second Chartreuse which I must say it goes down beeeautifully. As smooth as silk and absolutely no burning sensation, it must have been destined! Now, the last time I had a double Chartreuse, I don’t remember anything that happened from 9pm onwards when I only started drinking at 6pm and was out until 3am. And when I say I don’t remember anything, I mean total blackout. I only learned about my nite by the beautifully embarrassing stories my friends and complete randomers filled me in on the next day, and believe me it wasn’t a pretty sight. So I think it’s pretty accurate to say I had high hopes for this one! Back I go to the table with my two babies, which are drained pretty quickly as me and Irish sit and make fun of ‘Mr. Green the dancing machine’ on the Dance Dance Revolution. This dude is incredible. He knows every dance off by heart, and u’ve never seen a persons feet move this fast. It’s a spectacle to behold I tell thee.
Newho, after a few more drinks we get kicked out at 2am, and as you do you bring the party back home. So off to the flat we go after a minor stop off at KFB (which is closed… fuckers! Did we go to the garage? I remember being threatened by a taxi driver inside the garage for plonking a cone in front of his car at the lights, but I duno if that was Thursday or Friday. Hmm…) and before the door is closed, I already have the jug out and am rummaging in the drinks cupboard for the Pimms! Now, assuming that we had plenty of mixers, I empty bout a quarter of a bottle of Pimms into the jug and only realised how little mixer we have when the Canada Dry barely covered the amount of Pimms. Not that this puts me off at all, cause it’s into a glass and down my throat before it has time to settle! Now at this point it’s only me and Irish drinking coz the other two decided no more and were tired, and I’m guessing they left before we finished the Pimms coz after reaching for the vodka, I realised the only mixer in the fridge was Yorkshires apple juice which I’m pretty sure he didn’t willingly let my swipe! The vodka went down a treat tho coz I’m pretty sure it only lasted a couple of minutes. Fair enough there was only half a bottle of it but it still managed to disappear pretty damn quickly. So in goes the hand to the drinks cupboard and out comes a full bottle of Kahlua. Now you’re probably thinking, “I thought there were no mixers left?” and you would almost be right, coz the beauty of Kahlua is that it mixes very nicely with milk, and we just so happened to have about 3 or 4 pints of it! So as I get those ready, Andy goes and gets the ipod and here begins the ipod karaoke to some of the gayest songs known to man! (Tin – Tampa Bay’s Magic 94.9? That’s what playlist it was!) So we sing our little hearts out for a good 2 hours and before I know it, it’s 6am, the party’s moved to my bedroom, and I’m lying in bed with Andy beside me! What I don’t remember is why I went to my room in the first place, turning on my computer, getting into a call with Carrie, and getting undressed! Time flies when you’re having fun, coz the next thing I remember is being barely under the covers with only a vest top and panties on with Andy fast asleep and snoring in my ear! So after an hour and a half of banter, Andy finally wakes up, steals the ipod, and fucks off back to his room and somewhere between 9 and 9.30am I fall asleep on skype! Et voila, that was my birthday. I’m sure now that u’ve wasted probably a good 15mins of your life reading this shit, you realise that I am very easily satisfied indeed! Yes, I know it was extremely uneventful, but for me, it’s the company you keep and the state of drunkenness you get yourself into that makes a nite. So I was happy =) All I can say is sorry for the length!
PS. If you're wondering why it’s Take 2, that would be due to my fucker of a computer overheating and switching itself off right before I was gona post this thing! Grrrrrrrrr! And yes I wrote this whole thing out again… the bits I remembered neway… computers are bastards! So yeh, this was meant to be posted on Sunday. Oh well! Better late than never I suppose.
