Oh My Good Holy Fuck!

Wow! What a couple of days! Ok, so I just got back from St Andrews last nite coz I was over doing a repeat for the dreaded Computer Science (meeeah) and I would have posted this last nite, but my brain was completely fucked from lack of sleep and stress (2hrs sleep in over 48hrs is NOT fun) so here we go. Have you ever had one of those days where life just feeds you one shit sandwich after another? Well that's pretty much what Tuesday was like!

Ok so, Tuesday morning I have to get up early after a sleepless nite to catch my plane to Edinburgh. Safe to say I wasn't feelin the best, but at this point it's all good in the hood coz I had a little plan laid out in my head as to what I was gona do when I got to St A's. The plan was, go straight to the estate agents to get the keys for Paul's flat (after finding out the nite b4 that he wasn't actually gona be ther, so I was gona be stayin in his flat on my own), get sum essentials from tescos, go back to the flat and study til 7.45, go to Subway for ma tea (Mmmm chicken pizziola!), then back to the flat and get sum sleep, get up suuper early and study my ass off til my exam at 9.30.

So I arrive at St A's at bout 2 and fone Paul to ask him if he's foned the estate agents and explained the situation so I can get the keys, and of course he hasn't bothered his ass, so I had to wait about for bout 30mins til he did that, which wasn't that bad coz I just hada coffee (my 2nd of the day) and met up with Erinn. Paul fones me back bringing me the wonderful news that the estate agents are really pissed coz Sam hasn't paid her half of the rent for this month so they're not giving either me or Paul the keys. Great! I'm homeless! Cue the start of the ripping my plan to shreads! So I'm thinking, "Fuck, where can I go?... The computer lab has a couch in the lobby that no1 ever uses... and the bathrooms right down the hall... and it's quiet... looks like I'm stayin there tonite!" Luckily Erinn was crashing at Ben's however and he had a spare sofa bed, so we called him up and he was pretty cool with it which was faaaabulous! So we get some reinforcements and head to the library for a power study session. Lets just say it didn't go the best! I think out of the 7 odd hours we were there, I probably got about 30mins proper revision done. My brain was in pieces! After the 3 coffee's and the can of Irn Bru 32 I had within a couple of hours, I was as hyper as a bastard but completely spaced out!

Although the rest of my plan had turned to shit, I still planned to go get a Subway, so I was basically counting down the hours before I could go. So we decided we'll go at 7.30 so we can have peace to eat it before it closes at 8, but of course Erinn fucks about on the computer printing shit off until just after 8 like the fucktard she is, so I get no food. And by this stage I hadn't eaten in like 10hrs so I was running low on gas, but I shrugged it off until about 10, when I got to the stage were if I didn't eat soon I was gona collapse in a sobbing heap.

So I finally drag that bitch outa there at about 10.30 and we head to tescos to grab something before I start nibbling on my left bum cheek! And she warned me about the state of the flat when we were having coffee, but wow, it really does give a whole new meaning to the definition of 'The Student Flat'. The washing machine of the flat above had exploded 3 months before and they still hadn't put the new floors in yet, the place was a tip, I'm pretty sure they hadn't cleaned up or emptied the bin since they got there, and I was afraid to touch anything in case I contracted some deforming disease; the place was just naaasty. But at this point I was just glad to have somewhere to crash and I was sooo tired I didn't care. I just wanted to go to sleep. And there was no chance I was gettin any of that in the livingroom with bitch features in there, but one of the dudes that lived there was moving rooms coz the work men were coming to put the floor in at the ass crack of dawn so I nabbed his room, which comprised of a bare bed and some makeshift fabric drawers. No pillow, no duvet, no bedding at all, nothing. Wtf?! So I finally climb onto this lovely dirty, stained bare bed at like 12.30ish with my pj's and half my clothes on for warmth, and try and get some sleep so I at least resemble a functioning human being in the morning! This is when I realise that both the windows and walls are like paper, and of course those fuckers go out for a smoke and talk shit for like an hour as soon as I lie down, grrr. And these flats cost like £120 a week. Worrying. Newho, I eventually get a couple of hours sleep, and drag myself off the bed at bout 7. Silly me thinking there would be hot water in this flat, had a cold shower and since I had no towel, dried myself with my pj bottoms! And from then on, since it couldn't have got any worse, things started to pick up eventually! Obviously the exam sucked balls, but for the hour and a half before my exam I could actually concentrate on my notes and take some of it in so I was happy enough. In the words of Miss Dana Fairbanks, "What a day!"

On the plus side, I did get caught up on all the Chazza and Two Jews and a Wannabe podcasts so I'm happy! I'm pretty sure everyone on the train thought I was insane, but hey, it's a hazzard of the job! And I'm sure I'm talking to myself now coz if anyone did bother to read this, I probably lost them bout halfway through my rant! Oooh well! I know a good way to grab your attention and to make us aaallll feel better! A nice bit of a half naked D'Angelo! Mmmm crissspay! And I don't care if you're a straight guy or a gay lady, EVERYONE can appreciate a work of art like this! All I have to say is, "I want some of your brown sugar!"



*Droooool*