its been a while...

ok who thinks that is COOL?!?! i want one. Sissi hook me up! Apparently they're going for about $5000-$10000 but hey over time they'll be cheap-er. But can you imagine the possibilities? Like that editing stuff would be awesome cuz its all laid out there for you and...you aren't interested are you? ok ok sorry I'll talk about something else. how about..um. Boobies? I like boobies...mmm...yeah I don't know where I was going with that. So I'll shut up. Just watch this vid..its funny.

laters bitches,

--Paradox

I just can't get you out of my head

Gather round children, come sit on Mama caT's lap and let her tell you a story..

Once upon a time, in the land of procrastination, Mama caT was trying to do anything else but study. So she started blog surfing. On this magical bloggy journey she came across many links on the SloGreen blog that she had not explored. Realising this could take up a lot of time which would otherwise be wasted studying, she saw a certain link that caught her eye. Hovering her cursor over said link, she noticed it was a youtube video and could not contain her curiousity any longer...



Mwahahahahhaaaaa it's too funny! I know I know, it's like soooooooo last year, but we don't get SNL over here and I've never stumbled across it til now. But now I can't get it out of my head. Like, literally. I go to sleep, it's a dick in a box. I wake up, it's a dick in a box. I have a shower, it's a dick in a box. I 'study', it's a dick in a box. Everything I do and everywhere I go, this song is in my fucking head arggggggg!

Hey girl.
I got something real important to give you.
So just sit down and listen..


In other news, after years of waiting to see 'Nightmare on Elm Street', I can officially report that it is indeed shit.

PS. Justin Timberlake is awwwwwsome!

PPS. Is it bad that I think he looks good with that wig? Not many people could pull that off you know. Snaps to thee.

PPPS. Who the fuck is that other guy and why does he look so familiar?

i love her (in a non romantic way)...

teehee..

Wow...i haven't posted in a while..and by a while I mean less than a week lol. Anyways I've been on Youtube like crazy the past couple days and I've discovered this AWESOME Vlog its done by this Filipino girl Happyslip who's just so freakin hilarious. She makes these videos and does these skits based on her family...and she imitates her mom, dad and auntie which is just so incredibly good. I've never heard a second generation filipino (a filipino who's parents were born in the philippines and came to america or some other english speaking country) usually they can't speak Tagalog (the Philippines' official language) ...anyways im rambing. So yes..watch her videos lol...cuz her family closely parallels mine. And you can kinda guess where I get my randomness from. riiiiiight.

soooo how's everyone who reads this blog doing? good? bad? happy? sad? *starts humming "Lets Stay Together"* meeeeh its like a heat wave...how hot is it outside?? gawd..maybe its the fact that im wearing a sweater and jeans...and sitting in the sun..outside...where im buuuuuuurning sheesh lol. ooh hows everyone's summer going so far? mine's going well..I'm currently looking for a job for the summer...and u know chillin with the woman..watching zombie movies..and over analyzing zombie situations. teehee...have I ever told u guys how obsessed I am with zombies? oh god u seriously dont wanna know...im sure my gf has had enough of it already lol. oh god how the hell did I get from Happyslip to zombies? anyways..I must go..

laters bitches,

--Paradox

It's times like these I wish I had a debit card

So guess what? It's that time again when I update my blog/myspace/facebook/bebo/profile every couple of hours, how lucky are you?! I've made progress.. I wrote out all the pages of the textbook I should be reading. That's HUGE. Of course I still haven't done the essay that was meant to be in 3 weeks ago and is now threatening to get me kicked out of the course.. but pffft, there's plenty of time for that!

So, I was flicking through Slo's blog, clicking on whatever could extend my procrastination time, and I noticed tshirt hell has revamped all their prints (this could have happened yonks ago, but I'm slow and I haven't been on it for... ohhhh, a good six months or more). This pleases me greatly as some of the stuff they come up with is funny as fuck, but the prints we're boring and fugly. So now they look mucho tasty indeedy, I may just have to waste my parents hard earned cash to get me some a those. As well as quite a lot of these Boosh tee's I spent ages searching for last time I was home. God I love the Boosh! So within a month, I should be completely skint after I buy my love all the facebook gifts shes wanted over the past month, tshirt hell tee's, Boosh tee's, and all the pretty summer clothes from Cult I was looking at a couple of days ago :D Oh, and the laptop I'm in desperate need of, the new phone I need to replace my prehistoric brick, and the ipod since mine decided a while back it hates me and will pretend to have no battery even tho its been on the charger for about a week! Aaaand the Xbox 360 I planned on getting..

Fuck me, that's a lot of shit.. and a hell of a lot of money.. that I don't have.. DAMNIT! Maybe I could convince my bro's to get me some of it for my 21st.. maaaaybe..

EUROVISION!!!

Hands up who loves the farcical freak fest (Mmmm alliteration) that is Eurovison.. I know you do! Coz it's awesome! You know why it's awesome? Two words for you, Terry Wogan. The man IS the Eurovision song contest. His commentary is quite hilarious, all he does the whole is take the piss out of absolutely everyone. Coz that's what it is these days, a complete piss take. Why did we let those crazy eastern fuckers in...? They ruined everything! Fucking eastern bloc and their politics..

*Ahem* Did you notice the overwhelming amount of trannies this year? And gays for that matter? Like really, they outdid themselves this year. I mean we're used to 'flamboyant' characters but hayzus. Forgotten already? Pffft you suck.. suck I tell you.

Ok, lets play a little game. This game is called 'Spot the dyke' and is worth douze points. Ready? Ok.

Spot.The.Dyke.

It's hard I know

Can't find her? Ok, let me narrow it down for you.. She has a microphone.. sorry, she's holding a microphone.. No? Ok, maybe this will help you.. She's the small, round, Krankie looking bespectacled dykadelic one at the front. I love how they describe the act lol "At times, their routine resembled liturgical dancing. At others, it seemed to be a slow-motion lesbian porn film." Hehe. It is so far off the mark, but you know they're just saying that coz they want to get in that she's a big flaming homo. A winning homo, but a homo non the less.

My favourite? I'm mildy ashamed of my favourite actually as it is of the German variety, and I never thought I'd say I liked something German.. cept their cars of course. But it's just so damn catchy and non Eurovisiony! I've really listened to it too much. I heard it at least twice before the contest even began coz my roommate was playing it through the wall (as well as Scooch, ugh ** WARNING - Do not play if you are prone to catchy songs **) Mmmm, his voice is so tasty. I've now got to the stage were I'm singing along with it. And I have no idea what I'm saying! I should really get my roomy to translate it for me.. or you know Sis, if you wanna help a brutha out!

Ohhhh! Look what I found! Someones top 20 songs mwahahahaha! Right lets see what we have..

1. The crazy disco ball Dame Edna look-a-like
2. The Georgian rip off of Bijork
3. The horribly shit drum sticked version of one of my roommate's stalkers
4. His name is Dj Bobo, nuff said. Tho it is the kind of shit you would see in our charts
5. Typical Eurovision tat
6. HAHA! This one was sooooo bad! The Gothic opera singer made my ears bleed
7. This was quite hilarious. And annoyingly catchy as Sweden always are. Also one of the many gay/tranny entries.
8. Oh jesus.. I have one word. Actually lets make that two. Fucking awful. (and French. Makes it even worse :P)
9. Wannabe rockers.
10. Meeeeeeeeeeeeh
11. Omg.. they didn't.. I'm ashamed.. *hangs head*
12. Haha! My fav tranny entry :D
13. More typical Eurovision shite
14. I actually liked this song.. its catchy.. and very Evanessencey (and the girl looks like a darker Sam Fox lol)
15. We're flyyyyying the flaaaaag, all oooover the wooooooooorld! The gay dude is the best! "Would you like some salted nuts madam?!" "Would you like something to suck on for landing sir?!" Ahhh pure British chedder :D Scooch - the Steps rip off
16. Nooooooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! This dudes voice is soo fucking annoying. It's like an even more nasal Placebo argggg
17. Hehe, this is damn catchy. "Oh oh, Yassou Maria!"
18. Ohhh! I haven't heard this one! Not bad..
19. Lol, this is kinda funny. Political rock mmm. And from Israel! Who woulda knew! It reminds me of that 'End of the world' cartoon :P "Hokay. So. Here is the earth. Daaaamn that's a sweet earth you might say. WROOONG!"
20. Oh dear. This was bad. Not that it actually got through to the finals. But it's still bad. I'll forgive them because of last years entry tho. It was mysterious and folky.. I liked it.

Here's the actual top 10 though. Not a western country in the bunch!

Jesus, I ramble.. sorry.. it's a nasty habit. Why am I apologising? This is my blog! Right, I need sleep.. sleeeeeeep... and to listen to the German entry again lol

PS. Is it bad that when I think of Eurovision I think of this? Is it even worse that I happen to have this song on my itunes? Just coz it's so re-goddamn-diculous.. and catchy. "Viva la diva, Viva Victoria, Aphroditaaaa. Viva la diva, Viva Victoria, Cleeeopatraaaa!"

PPS. UK same 2nd that year? What the faak? With what?.. *searches t'internet* Imaani?.. Lol I totally remember that now!

isn't love grand?...

Since my girlfriend shares the same love for Disney movies as I do, I figure she'd appreciate this video. And speaking of my girlfriend, can you believe we've been dating for seven months? Wow...seven months...crazy. Seven months of being with the most amazing woman alive. Seven months of sheer happiness just because of her. Have I ever told you guys how awesome my girlfriend is? teehee..im giddy..partly because I'm thinking about how much I love her...and because it's naked Friday..and you guys know how much I love naked time. Anyways I shall wrap up this post since I am beginning to ramble...so I shall bid you adieu with one last comment for my girlfriend.

Happy 7 months baby. I love you :)

**UPDATE** My girlfriend looks SO cute in her glasses...

laters bitches,

--Paradox

hahaha...

mmmmmmmmmmmm.........


ok i'll tell you everything

So...i'm out of school...and all i've been doing is stalking blogs, talking to my gf and watching youtube vids...the one up there is CLASSIC! muahaha. Anyways being done school is quite grand..the worst part however is being forced to do stuff for your parents.. like painting the living room, installing shelves and then wiring and setting up their new home theatre. psh..i looked like fucking super dyke! oh god..it was bad. meh..i'll have to show u pictures. anyways..good luck to all of u ppl finishing up ur school year..finals and projects suck...but summer is just around the corner!!!

laters bitches,

--Paradox

I don't have an obsessive personality I swear!

Thanks to my lovely lady I've been listening to this song non stop since I was given it last nite. I love that blend of acoustic riffs, raw vocals and perfectly balanced harmonies. I'm all about the harmonies, I was raised on them. As well folk and acoustic guitar sets. So this song is basically everything I love in one beautiful tasty package.

I'm leaving you
Not sure if that's what I should do
It hurts so bad
I'm wanting you but can't go back
Trying to find
That all allusive piece of mind
Stuck here somehow
Shrouded beneath my fear and doubt

And I don't need it
Cause I'm walking down this road alone
And I figure all I'm thinking bout is you my love
My head is in a cloud of rain
And the world it seems so far away
And I'm just waiting to fall in droplets

You left a mark
I wear it proudly on my chest
Above my heart
To remind me that I feel the best
When I'm with you
Everything is effortless
You know it's true
My eyes are painted with regret

And I don't need it
Cause I'm walking down this road alone
And I figure all I'm thinking about is you my love
My head is in a cloud of rain
And the world it seems so far away
And I'm just waiting to fall
To sink into your skin
You are like the raindrops
Falling down on me

You left a mark
(He left a mark)
She left a mark
(He left)
She left
(He left)
And I don't need it

Insomnia sucks...

• School's finally over with...I passed all my classes...i should be chillaxin..instea I've got the Monkey Pox..
• Cat's asleep...and I can't get to sleep..grrr.
• So I decided to do this thingy...I got tagged on a friend's blog
• penguins are cute
• so is my girlfriend
• like REALLY cute
• teehee
  

Tagged

Three Things I'm afraid of:
1. Being alone
2. David Copperfield
3. that fucking chick from silent hill

Three People who make me laugh:
1. Cat
2. Izzle
3. Kelly

Three things I love:
1. Cat
2. Pie
3. Ice Cream

Three Things I Hate:
1. creepy girls in scary movies
2. being sick
3. no internets

Three Things I don't understand:
1. Why my girlfriend has to live so far away
2. Accounting (ICKY!!)
3. Penis

Three Things on my desk:
1. Mac
2. Cellphone
3. change

Three things I'm doing right now:
1. sneezing
2. trying to breath through my nose
3. Filling out this survey thingy

Three Things I want to do before I die:
1. Remove the words "long-distance" from my relationship
2. Have a happy family
3. Write a book

Three Things I can do:
1. Be sexy
2. Sing my heart out
3. type 50wpm (i checked!)

Three Things I can't do:
1. Go to bed on time
2. Not talk to Cat for more than 24hrs
3. type faster than 50wpm (I tried!)

Three Things I think you should listen to:
1. my podcast (teehee)
2. other kelkian podcasts
3. me :D

Three Things you should never listen to:
1. Betty
2. see above.
3. see above.

Three Things I'd like to learn:
1. how to fly
2. the cure for cancer
3. how to be insanely rich...without working ur ass off

Three Favourite Foods:
1. Soup
2. Pie
3. fried chicken

Three Shows I watched as a kid:
1. Power Rangers!
2. Arthur
3. Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

Three Things I regret:
1. Catching her (her being my first gf) with someone else..that fucked me up for life..
2. all the shit that I did after #1
3. not doing as well as i could have

Three People I'd like to tag to do this post on their Blog:
1. hmmm can Cat do one?
2. Izzle to the Dizzle
3. ...Slo? ...does she even read this? lol

laters bitches,

--Paradox

Full moon..

So I have this new wee gadget on my google homepage that I got on Sunday (when I was occupying myself with anything that wasn't my essay) that tells you what phase the moon's in where you are, which I think is quite nifty (Yes, that's right, nifty). And guess what? I just a fupping full moon tonight! Now I know what you're thinking.. Who gives a shit, it happens every 28days, that's nothing special. Well to you I say, "SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND LET ME TAKE AS LONG AS I LIKE TO GET TO MY POINT!" Ahem. So, as I was saying, it be a full moon tonight in the East Coast of Scottyland, which obviously got me thinking about this:

Full moon... Half moon... Mm.. Total eclipse!

Mwahahahaha! I love that ad. And even more than that, I love taking an entire pack of jaffas and doing it myself! Mmmmmmmm.. I don't have any tho :( booo

Now since we're on the subject of absolutely fantabulous ads, I just have to mention this KFC one coz not only is it funny, it has the funkiest wee tune that you'll be humming all day.

If I'd known those KFC mini fillet burgers were only 99p
I would have asked you to get me one
Sandra, can I have a bite?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Woahhh woahhh
No.

At this point, I'd like to tell you I'm listening to Baboosha by Kate Bush (random) and turn the advertisments over to youuuuu. GO GO GO!