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apparently i'm insomnia's bitch...

i love that video, it makes me happy..it makes me wanna dance. I mean..dancing bacon...and eggs..and toast..im hungry. I could go for some toast. so I just finished midterm week...and fuck it was hell. 5 Days of torture. I was so freakin stressed out ugh. But on friday i did have a bit of fun. Got a wee bit drunk..just a little bit lol.
So I don't know if you know, but cat's coming back to visit me..it's all nice and official (yay!), we're gonna have a grand ol' time..in the snow..making..snow angels and snuggling and stuff.. caaaan't wait. aaand wow it's freakin late..I think *looks at clock*...hey where the hell did my clock go?..oh wait it's still there...oooh my mac is tricky. Oh right..it's 1:46. Has my rambling bored you yet? It better not have..beeeetch. Oh halloween..what are you all gonna be for halloween? I'm gonna be a pimp. thats right...a pimp. with a cane, and a gold chain..and lots of bling..word. ummm I don't know what else there is to talk about..I'm wearing a blue robe..and care bear pjs..yeah that right..a BLUE robe. It is Uh-ma-Zing! lol wow I am so out of it..how am i able to type properly? I keep yawning..but I can't sleep. Stupid body. Oh yeah I forgot my video that I posted...it reminds of Biz's kick ass dance moves. Really, you need to see them. They are the shiznit. Did I tell you that my new rental car is a Yaris? It's small. Holy fuck this post is ALL over the place. my wrist is itchy. nvm I scratched it. ha ha. um...yeeeeeeeeeeeaaah... I should end this post. Before it gets worse..and I start talking about something taboo..like...pubic hair..or..um...asparagus.

laters bitches,
--(a borderline insane, sleep deprived) Paradox

Happy Birthday to me..

Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble..

So.. it's almost 11.. and I should be down in Dublin being serenaded, but no.. no no no no, that would be too much to ask.. why is life such a dirty, skanky little bitch whore?

So, for my birthday last month my brother got me and him tickets for Ray LaMontagne in Dublin tonight. So today he skives off work and I work til 4, so we can leave at 5. I think we evenually left at like 5.30 but whatever, we had plenty of time.. it didn't start til 8. Anyway, about 30mins down the road he notices his engine temperature is through the roof and after getting me to look up the manual (like that'll help..) he phones my dad to ask what it might be.. not that he needed to.. the burning smell said it all really.. and the very unhealthy rattling sounds the engine was making... So, after deciding it probably needs more water and being told to pull over as soon as possible before we both die a firey death, we go in search of a garage. A garage there is not.. the closest thing we could find was a Lidl.. in Banbridge..

So we pull into the car park, and as soon as we stop the engine starts to smoke like a chimney. Not a good sign. Up goes the bonnet and we sit like clampets for about 20mins for the engine to cool down so we can top it up with water. In goes the water... out goes the water... in goes the water... out goes the water.. in goes the water... out goes the water... BASTARD! The one day we're going somewhere and the fucking radiator miraculously springs a leak. *sigh* So what's my brothers genius idea you ask? Chewing gum.. fucking chewing gum! So in he goes again to get a bag of chewing gum so we can eat the entire pack for him to hold his engine together.. now, really?... REALLY?! Funnily enough it didn't work and we had to come home. Happy birthday to me..

EDIT: Oh yeah I forgot to mention, there was a little boy in the housing estate above singing "It's raining men" to the tune of "Barbie girl" the whole time... disturbing..

PS. 100th post, w00t!

twitter twatter, vagina face and meow box...

a new podcast...three ppl...two of them write on this blog..the other is a mystery guest. Guess who. Click here to listen.

--Paradox

**ok you bitches..you better comment..i've got a shitloads of downloads and no freakin feedback... :P**

caT` gets (another) job! YAY!

My beautiful face has landed me yet another job. A better job than the one I applied for.. and all without saying a word. Oh yes.. I'm THAT good.

She brought me into the office and was like, "I know I'm going to give you the job, but I'll ask you a few questions anyway" lol. Ahhh, the power of first impressions..

It looks like I'll be working with Dykey McDykerson though.. that's going to be interesting.. I'm sure I'll get the low down on where to buy the best power tools or the cheapest plaid.. or the latest strap on.. I dunno.. Lets hope she keeps her hands to herself.. I don't want another job were I get intruded upon daily.. Plus I'm sure my gf would actually kill her.. actually..

Now for the perks.. the best part? STAFF DISCOUNT! Ohhhh that hp laptop is mine.. all miineeee mwahahahahahahaha..

EDIT: Ok, what the frickin frack is going on this week?.. I applied to Currys once before and I didn't even get an interview. Yesterday I get a better job by just walking into the interview room. Now GAME are phoning me for a job I applied for 6 months ago asking do I want a job? What. The. Fuck? Just after I get a different one.. mother lickers.. I can't have 3 jobs! And they want this one to be my priority.. fuck off! What is going on?!..

another sappy love post..

So I don't know if you bitches know that yesterday (October 11) marked me and Cat's one year anniversary. I know what you're thinking..."wow they've been together that long?" And yes..yes we have...So in honour of this awesome day..I will now give you complete and utter sappiness...enjoy :P

One year...crazy... The last time I hit this milestone with a girlfriend, I thought that we had it made. That nothing could touch us...boy was I wrong. Because of that one relationship, I've gone through the whole "Shane" phase..where I'd "date" girls but not let myself get emotionally attached. I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone except myself..so I'd basically sabotage all of my relationships.. That was about 6 years ago. That all changed when I met Cat... I suppose it was the anonymity of the internet that allowed me to open up to her. Then I found myself falling in love with her...and doing what I thought was the impossible..I let my guard down, and I will never regret it. And about a year ago I did something that I thought I was incapable of doing again...I gave her my heart. In Cat I've found my best friend, my confidant...and the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with...so call me sappy...call me cheesy...I just want you all to know how I feel about her...cuz she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

Cat, Happy Anniversary babe...I love you.

--Paradox

It's my turn

To call or not to call, that is the question..

I get the promise of a nice dinner at an expensive restaurant from a very nice young man with a LOT of money (judging by the huuuge bottle of £140 Bollinger he bought) and all after I tell him I'm already with someone!

So, should I text him?..

NO! What is wrong with you people!! Of course I shouldn't! Why?! WHY?!!! Because
1. I love my gf
2. She would KILL me
3. I'm completely anti-social, and
4. Dates scare the shit out of me

Plus he's kinda weird.. nice, but weird.. and I don't go out with strange men from bars.. So I'll just go into work next week and tell them that I texted him just so they'll leave me alone, and hope to god he doesn't come in on Saturday night.. I'm such a bad person..