Empty

I was listening to this last night and it kind of sumed up how I was feeling. I don't know if it's just the start of another trough or because the scenario simulator that is my mind has been working on overdrive again, or the fact that my mum's away and it's just me and my padre.. or the fact that i've hit a bit of a dead spot on Pokémon Diamond and unless I spend countless boring hours upping the levels of my pokémon, I get raped by the Elite 4 multiple times. Yes that's right, I play Pokémon.. this is what boredom does to you. I have spent more hours than I care to admit on that bad boy, but I refuse to be beaten.

Anyway, to cheer myself up I've been watching OTS videos on youtube all day and can I just say, Gabe is A-DORABLE! I want to have his pretty little filipino babies. But if you're ever sad or depressed watch this coz it is hilarious. It would also appear that I have a mild filipino obsession... 6 of my 10 subscriptions are filipino... and technically Ashley's subscription is inactive, so it's more like 6 of 9... that's 2/3... hmmm... before today I only had 3... so it was only half which isn't quite as bad but yeeeeaaah...

Woop woop

[sing song voice] I GOT A CAR I GOT A CAR I GOT A CAR YEAH I GOT A CAR! [/sing song voice]

Finally something good comes out of 2009! Apparently my dad was going to surprise me with it but my brother kind of cocked it up by phoning me the other day and asking me when I passed my test and shiz. Naturally I asked why and was told it was to see how much insurance would cost.. on a random car.. which you can't do, so I asked my mum and she told me what car my dad was looking at and to act surprised when he told me. So I left the conversation thinking it was a maybe and that I certainly wouldn't be getting it any time soon, but I arrived home from the wedding just now to find it parked in our driveway! YAYAA! But, I'm not insured on it yet and my dad's going to Amsterdam this afternoon for the weekend.. but who cares coz I HAVE A FREAKING CAR!!!! ^_^

People are shit.

Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. What ever happened to common decency? Did that miraculously disappear in the year 2009? What exactly did I do to you for you to treat me like utter shite? I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of getting walked all over, I'm sick of being ignored, I'm sick of giving all of myself and getting nothing in return except pain and heartache. I'm tired.. it's happened too many times. I'm sick of people taking advantage of my good nature. ARRRG! See this is why I've limited myself to mostly male friends, they don't have the mental capacity to fuck each other over. Girls are fucking cunts. I've only ever had one female friend who hasn't fucked me over and she lives in fucking New York. Uck..

FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME AND STOP IGNORING MY FUCKING EXISTENCE.

*Sigh* Rant over.

Lies and mistruths

This sounds oddly familiar..

Do you ever wonder if everything you know about someone is a lie? Maybe I'm just gullible... I dunno. I think I need to trust my instincts more and stop living in a fantasy world where everyone is good and truthful.

Sometimes I wish

Oh my this cake is good.. it's been one of those disappointing few days when all you do is cry and eat cake. And just as I was starting to get half an ab.. only on the left side mind you, but it's still something. Why have a become a cake fiend you ask? Ohhh just the usual. I dared to hope.. that always comes back and kicks me in the teeth. And to add insult to injury, I've been listening to old pseudocasts that a certain someone made me a couple of years ago.. depression city. It's bad enough that I can't listen to half the music on my ipod coz it reminds me of better times, so naturally I'm going to listen to a custom made playlist that was made to cheer me up on the way home from uni. I think I'm a masochist..

What else.. oh yes, tomorrow is St Patrick's Day, the day where everyone goes to the pub and gets drunk, and I'm not allowed to drink! Fuck this.. I was in the pub after work on Sat as well and I couldn't drink. AND I have a hen party on Fri and I'm not supposed to be drinking.. but I'm going to ignore that coz if I don't drink and I have to sit and listen to all of them drunk, I'm going to stab myself in the face. This two week mini diet is fucking me over big time. It's almost over though so I might just forfeit the last two days. That's if I bother going out tomorrow.. I may not.. depends what my brothers are doing.

+ major distraction and faff +

Right, I think I'm going to go look through catalogues and mark the things I want to put in my new room to cheer me up. I might make a scrapbook... depends how arsed I could be.

Lung shattering cough = abs of steel

My abs huuuuurt. It feels like I've done hours of non stop crunches, which I suppose in a way I have, I've just been coughing up my lungs in the process. So I'm thinking, if I keep on going like this for a week or two I'm going to have abs of fucking steel! Just like Houdini.. minus the whole getting punched in the stomach and dying thing.

The impossible quest

Do you know how hard it is to find out what was on TV in December 1990 about 3 women, possibly witches and most likely a cartoon?

VERY! Like practically impossible. Especially when you have no memory of it at all. Yet apparently this was a very important incident. I've spent the last hour or two searching t'internet and I still have no idea. Fuck-a-doodle-doo... It's times like these I wish we'd kept the TV times.

-_- Two months

I feel like ass :(