I just don't know what to do with myself
(excuse the video, but the actual music video is so despicably bad I couldn't post it. It takes away from the song)
Wow I'm actually updating my blog! I think this is the most I've updated it ever lol. But I'm so umbelievably bored since I no longer have anything to do and it's exam time so no one can go out. So lets just update you on what's been happening.
If you couldn't tell from the last few posts, my gf dumped me.. for no good reason.. so for the past week I've been pretty devastated. Two and a half years of my life, gone. It's been really hard to accept.. to understand.. coz I really don't understand it.. how or why.. She also doesn't want to talk to me at all right now so it's been really difficult. Especially since it's all I can think about. It really hurts.. I don't know the person she's become. The last few conversations we had in between her dumping me and telling me she needs 'space', I didn't recognise her. And I don't quite know if she's being a bitch to try and make this easier on me, or if that's actually who she's become. I guess I'll never know.. [since in the two months she didn't talk to me coz she was 'busy', she decided she didn't want to talk to me, doesn't trust me, and doesn't want to me with me anymore, so I'm sure in this 'space' she'll decide she doesn't love me and doesn't want to see or hear from me ever again. It's sad.. It's also making my head spin and giving me the usual migraine so I need to stop thinking about it.]
I've also officially quit school and am going back home to live with the parentals. Not my ideal situation but with all the shit I have going on at the moment I really need my family's support and I just don't have that here. It's the best thing for me right now. I'm not looking forward to leaving here, leaving my friends and my independence behind, and I'm definitely not looking forward to actually being at home, but it's something that I have to do to heal. I need to put myself first for once and think about what I need rather than what I want. And this time I have nothing to do, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to work towards. It'll be interesting.. we'll see how it goes..
If you couldn't tell from the last few posts, my gf dumped me.. for no good reason.. so for the past week I've been pretty devastated. Two and a half years of my life, gone. It's been really hard to accept.. to understand.. coz I really don't understand it.. how or why.. She also doesn't want to talk to me at all right now so it's been really difficult. Especially since it's all I can think about. It really hurts.. I don't know the person she's become. The last few conversations we had in between her dumping me and telling me she needs 'space', I didn't recognise her. And I don't quite know if she's being a bitch to try and make this easier on me, or if that's actually who she's become. I guess I'll never know.. [since in the two months she didn't talk to me coz she was 'busy', she decided she didn't want to talk to me, doesn't trust me, and doesn't want to me with me anymore, so I'm sure in this 'space' she'll decide she doesn't love me and doesn't want to see or hear from me ever again. It's sad.. It's also making my head spin and giving me the usual migraine so I need to stop thinking about it.]
I've also officially quit school and am going back home to live with the parentals. Not my ideal situation but with all the shit I have going on at the moment I really need my family's support and I just don't have that here. It's the best thing for me right now. I'm not looking forward to leaving here, leaving my friends and my independence behind, and I'm definitely not looking forward to actually being at home, but it's something that I have to do to heal. I need to put myself first for once and think about what I need rather than what I want. And this time I have nothing to do, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to work towards. It'll be interesting.. we'll see how it goes..
posted by caT` @ 8:39 pm
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