Weird

Men smell nice. Theres something about lynx and aftershave that I really like. And their strength.. Although I'd forgotten how pushy men are. And how they don't like to take no for an answer. I don't like that. No means no. When I push you away that means I don't want you. When I put my head down when you try to kiss me, that means I don't want it. When you try and pin me down and I push your chest, that means no. When you ask to come in to my room and I say no, that means I don't want you there.. Even if you offer to stay fully clothed, I know you're still going to touch me and try to kiss me.. I don't want that.. That's why I said no in the first place. You are very far from the person that I want in my bed. For a start you are the wrong sex, not to mention many other things. Do not give me a sob story to make things harder for me, I'm still going to say no. Fuck sake.. It's been a while since a guy has actually been interested in me though. I'd forgotten that someone might actually find me attractive. But I don't want it.. The more he tried, the more I thought about her. And the harder he tried, the more I felt.. the more upset I got.. I've managed to numb out my feelings, but the more he brought them back.. I don't want to feel. I don't want to think about her.. it just makes things harder..